water drips through stone
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: The Battle of Hogwarts doesn't bring about the end of the war. It's not easy moving forward. Voldemort wins!AU, Lavender/Parvati, oneshot


You back a masked Death Eater around a corner. Padma's at your left, firing stunning spells and shield charms timed perfectly with your own. Lavender got held up with another group just behind you, near the forest.

Another curse shoots your way, and you duck, feeling the rush of an orange jet of light passing just over your head. Padma doesn't spare you a glance, it's too risky. You can feel her relax a bit as you stand back up by her side. Your last year at Hogwarts had been awful so far, but the last thing you expected was for it to end in a full-out war within the castle.

So much has changed. The way things are looking, it's not going to get better any time soon.

The grounds are growing dark, making the forest look more ominous than usual. A full moon shines brightly above you, but you're far more focused on the shine of the shield charm you've cast. You direct all of your energy toward it, keeping it up for you and Padma, long enough to ward off the oncoming attack and for her to prepare a rebuttal.

The Death Eater before you is fighting masked. It gives you the advantage of unimpaired sight, but it keeps his identity and his expressions concealed. His voice gives away his malicious intent just as much as the curses themselves do, though. Sometimes, you wonder how you got wrapped up in all of this.

A high-pitched scream coming from the direction of the forest keeps you from your musings. It sounds uncomfortably familiar, but you don't have the opportunity to investigate. You have to protect yourself and your sister, you couldn't get away even if you wanted to. Your mind is racing. You shoot a particularly well-aimed _Stupefy_ at your attacker, and he falls. It gives you the chance you need. With just a glance back at Padma, you run into the edge of the forest after the noise.

What you see makes your heart stop.

.

You fire off enough stunning spells to clear your path, and miraculously, they all find their mark. Perhaps it's no miracle, just your desperate determination. It doesn't matter. What matters is that Lavender is on the ground before you, but she's hardly recognizable. What matters is that it wasn't just wizards you were defending her from, but a werewolf.

What matters is that you were too late to properly defend her.

You conjure a stretcher, carrying Lavender in front of you on it. You fight your way back to the castle, blinded by anger and tears. You know you're not thinking straight, but the only thing running through your mind is that you need to get Lavender somewhere safe.

.

The Room of Requirement is mostly empty now. Everyone of age has gone off to fight, as have a number of the younger students. A few people are staggered around the room, waiting for any news. They all look up collectively as you burst into the room. One group runs up to try and help you, but you send them away without thinking. You need to save Lavender. These kids will just get in the way.

You can hear the blood pounding in your ears. Lavender is still awake and responsive beneath you, if only barely. "Par—I… I think I'm – dying." She coughs. It's a thick noise, blood emerging in droplets.

"You're not. I won't let that happen, Lav, you're alright. You're alright."

She meets your eyes. Hers are wide, glassy. You swallow a lump in your throat. "You're gonna be fine," you whisper as her body goes limp in your arms.

There's still the subtle rise and fall of her chest. She's breathing, if barely.

.

"I saw you heading up here with a stretcher and found Madam Pomfrey, she's on the way up." Padma says, darting into the room, coming to stand behind you. "Is that… blood?" Padma gapes at Lavender's prone form. "What happened?"

You roll your eyes, wishing she would help you rather than question you. You wipe the sweat from your forehead, futilely continuing to cast basic healing charms. "Fenrir Greyback happened. Will you hand me that dittany?"

Padma hurries over to retrieve it from a shelf along the side of the room. She brings it back to you, crouching at your side and drawing her own wand. "Lucky you got her out of there alive." She pauses, before asking the question on both of your minds. "She is…she _is_ alive, isn't she?"

You nod, feigning a confidence you can't reach. You don't trust your voice to reaffirm the notion, so you turn back to Lavender, blinking tears from your eyes and hoping against hope that what you can do for her is enough.

You don't leave the Room of Requirement for the rest of the battle. There's a part of you that feels obligated to fight, to do your part to end this war. But you can't. You can't leave her up here, helpless. You can't go down to fight, knowing that she's up here and in pain. You tell yourself that if you returned, you wouldn't be on your game and leave it at that.

You've got other things to worry about right now.

.

Madam Pomfrey is bent over Lavender, but you hang back with Padma. She's got her arm wrapped around your shoulder, holding you still despite the sobs wracking your body. Lavender's been given a few Blood-Replenishing Potions and countless charms have been cast to try and repair some of the damage caused.

There's nothing they can do to prevent the scarring. There's nothing they can do to mend the bite mark, to make it so that it never happened.

Lavender is a werewolf, now. You don't know what you're supposed to think about that.

You're sick to your stomach. You can't tell how much of that is nerves and adrenaline and the bloody, mangled sight of your friend. You don't know how much of that is because of what the word _werewolf_ makes you think.

But it's still Lavender. You keep telling yourself that, and every time you look back at her, you cry harder. You wish you didn't feel this helpless.

Padma moves beside you, loosening her grip so she can turn to look at you. "Do you love her?"

"Is this really the time?" you ask, your throat closing around the words. This isn't the first time Padma's asked you this. But it is the first time she's asked it when the answer has unquestionably been yes.

"You do, don't you?" The realization is in her voice – if she wasn't sure before asking, your response made it clear. "Oh, Parvati."

"It's alright. She's going to be fine." You don't think about how unstable her condition is right now. You don't think about the possibility that you will never get to tell her how you feel, that you'll never get to hear her say it back. You shake your head slightly, ridding yourself of the thoughts.

"Is there anything more I can do to help?" Madam Pomfrey gives a tense smile at your question, nodding for you to join her.

.

You're sitting at the dining table, trying to read through today's Daily Prophet. By the fifth article about another Death Eater attack, you put the paper down, giving it up as a lost cause. You miss the days where you didn't feel the need to stay updated on the news. You wish you could return to that safety and innocence again. You wish that the battle last month was enough, that it was worth it. But the war's still raging and so much has already been lost.

And Lavender was always the one pushing you forward. She always kept you going, stopped you from giving up when it got hard. Because you're fire and brimstone, hitting the problems with full force, at first. But then you pull back, drift away.

Lavender's always paced herself, put her all in the whole way through. She was perseverance and determination and grit.

It looked like Lavender was laying there on the bed. It wasn't her, though. Not truly. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. She'd lost her will, and it killed you to see that. You wish the battle had brought about some sort of ending. You wish that there would have been something that had come out of that war.

You wish you could get in front of Fenrir Greyback again, with your wand or without. You wish you could do _something_.

There's a crash from the bedroom. You dart in there, but Lavender's sitting on the bed. She doesn't look particularly shaken – no more than usual lately, at least – but she's crying. "What happened? Are you alright?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Her tone was clipped and irritated. "Never been better, actually, thanks for asking."

"You know that's not what I meant."

Lavender rolls her eyes, staring up at the ceiling and willing herself not to start crying again. "I broke a glass. I'm fine." She pauses for a beat, then adds, "But… I also know that if I ever see him again my first instinct will be to kill him. And I can't come to terms with that." She shakes her head, her words hovering in the stale air, filling the silence between them.

"You know what, forget it. Just—"

"Lav, I—"

"I said forget it." Her tone leaves no room for argument. You nod, lips pressed tightly together, holding back tears as you leave the bedroom.

.

"Lav?" You don't honestly expect her to answer, but you figure it's at least worth a shot. "I'm heading out, meeting my dad for lunch." You slow, grabbing your jacket from the hook by the door, watching Lavender. She doesn't make any sign of having heard you. She rolls over onto her side, facing away from you and giving you the signal you needed to leave. You sigh. You'd spent weeks before the battle writing to your dad, telling him about Lavender and how you wanted him to meet her, how special she is to you. You had to broach the subject delicately, because you were sure he wouldn't approve. Not right away, at least. But you finally built up the confidence to tell him, and now Lavender won't even talk to you.

She's been spending all of her time alone, since the battle. She doesn't ask for help, though you're sure she needs it. Not that that's unusual for Lavender, normally. But she doesn't normally struggle this badly, she's not usually facing a hurdle like this.

You don't know what else you can do. You've tried. You know it's harder on her than it is on you, and you know you shouldn't just leave her. But right now, you just need time for yourself, time away from all of this.

You close the front door behind you without another word, and disapparate.

.

Lavender sits in the small window nook, staring pensively out at the back garden. Her legs are pulled in tight to her body, a mug of tea forgotten on the table next to her. A worn, old blue blanket is draped around her shoulders. You watch her from the doorway, hesitant. You don't want to disrupt her, but you can't sit by as she suffers. You know tonight will be rough.

"Hey." Your voice is soft, low. It's barely perceptible, even to your ears, but Lavender turns, forces a smile. It looks more like a pained grimace, but you let it slide. "Can I sit with you?"

She nods, and you slide onto the seat beside her. She flinches, shrinking away from you. "Are you alright?"

Her words are slow, disjointed. "I… didn't think you wanted to touch me. I don't even want to touch me right now."

You can feel your heart ache as you let out a breath and close your eyes. "Lav, I—" you splutter. You can't find the words to tell her that you couldn't care less if she's a werewolf. "I love you." You've never said the words before. You've meant them for a while, and you've gotten close, but you followed her lead and she hasn't yet. But now, it feels right. The words fall from your tongue, but they land with such conviction; Lavender looks up at you, eyes brimming with tears. "I do," you continue. Her face breaks into the first genuine smile you've seen from her in the past month. You take her hand in yours, rubbing your thumb across the back of it, finding comfort in the warmth of her skin. "Nothing that happens to you or to us will ever change that. You're beautiful and kind and brilliant and _strong_. This isn't enough to stop you."

Lavender nods, lost in your eyes. You hate to bring her back to reality, but the moon isn't going to wait. "We have to go meet Remus. You alright?"

She bites her lip, but says, "I suppose."

.

You sit on the sofa, legs crossed and hands resting in Lavender's. This is the first time in nearly two months where she's been comfortable with you being this close, with you touching her. Even something this innocent, it sends a surge of warmth through you. It feels like coming home, like going back to a time before the war had ravaged their lives. Everything felt simple again. It wasn't, of course. But that was a problem for a future time.

"Parvati." Lavender sighs, eyes fixed on your clasped hands. "I wanted to thank you, for everything you've done for me. If it weren't for you, I probably wouldn't be here right now. I would never have made it without you. I—I love you."

A tingling sensation traces its way through your body, from your heart down through your arms and legs. She's watching you now, uncertain, trying to figure out what you're thinking.

"I love you, too."

Lavender's lips quirk up into a smile. She's always told you off for rambling. Now, she presses her lips to yours, whether to shut you up or to prove her point. It doesn't really matter. All that matters is that this is happening, that your heart is in your throat in the best possible way. That Lavender's hands are lacing their way through your hair and yours are wrapped around her waist, pulling her in closer. That you can't exactly breathe but it's definitely not worth it right now. It feels impossible – that after all this time, after all these hardships, that you're _kissing Lavender Brown_.

After a few minutes, you break apart for air, and open your eyes. She's looking back at you, dazed. You're sure you have the same expression on your face. You wonder if she finds it as adorable as you do. The sunlight dances across the room, spinning lines of gold and white and prismic rainbow that dance across her face. You bite your lip, for the first time in a long time feeling so _lucky_.

It doesn't matter that the war's still brewing. It doesn't matter that it means a few more years of hardship ahead of you. Because this time, you're not on your own.

But, really, you never were.

 **A/N: Hunger Games Round 2: (word) Impossible, (emotion) Anger, (pairing) Parvati/Lavender, (setting) Room of Requirement, (genre) Angst; Hogwarts – Assignment 3 – Gardening Task 2: Write about someone losing hope; Disney Challenge S2: Write about someone finding the good in something bad; Cookie's Crafty Corner – 2x2 Ribbing: (trope) Opposites attract; Book Club – Moira: (sexuality) lesbian, (trait) independent, (color) orange; Showtime 13: (color) Gold; Amber's Attic T3: Write about innocence (5 Bonus); Count Your Buttons D3: "Is that…blood?", W5: Malicious; Lyric Alley 6: No one will love you as you are; Angel's Arcade – 14: (emotion) vengeful, (word) strong, (color) gold; Bex's Bazaar D2: Write about someone making the best of a bad situation; Fortnightly – Snape's Shelf 4: 14 – Werewolf!AU; Build a Monster 5: Voldemort wins!AU; Seasonal – Days of the Year: Sept 16: Write about female friends; Shay's Musical Challenge 3: Write about students fighting a war; Gryffindor Challenge – Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil; Gobstones – Red (Good vs. Evil), A5 (item) blanket, P8 (dialogue) "Do you love her?", T9 (dialogue) "I think I'm dying."; Insane House Challenge – 334: Blood-Replenishing Potion; 365 Prompts – 214: (plot point) Protecting someone**


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